After reading In Search Of A Greener Tomorrow's post on the smallest car, I came across the one he spoke of as well as another [see below]. I thank him for such stimulating articles and posts.

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17938_105-10201922-1.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJfSS0ZXYdo

I watched the rays of sunlight spill unto my carpet.
Lifting my head I stared at the window for a long time.
Then I parted the shades and peered out.
Overhanging branches of the big pine tree obstructed my view.
My gaze moved between the branches and dangling moss,
and I looked past the thick white clouds overhead.
Into the deep blueness of the sky; so I followed the path of light.
Traced it as far as I could towards its source.
Way beyond my ken. . . somewhere out there was God.

Doodles & Me

This is really cool stuff.

Today I was getting some information over the phone. Glancing at the sheet of paper I wondered about my age-old habit of doodling. I consider myself an anxious personality, inherited from my mother I believe, yet was never a fidgety or hand-wringing sort. People always admire how calm I am, knowing not how my stomach is either secretly turning somersaults or being invaded by butterflies. Anyway, I decided to research the significance of doodles, if any. I used to be interested in the study of handwriting - Graphology. Maybe because I have always had various regular handwriting patterns and I think it unusual to have more than one prominent handwriting style. I have a slanted neat cursive which I proudly consider evolved from my father's penmanship that I have admired since childhood. Then I have the bold bubbly type that caused friends to tease me that I waste paper. Then there are the careless characters of rushed work that developed in my college/pre-med days to cope with work loads that realistically needed extra hours in a day.

Anyway, this is what I found out about me and my doodles based specifically on today's pattern of triangular shapes. I am: strong-willed, have a masculine streak and like facts. I am determined and need an outlet for my mental & physical energy. This is so true. Currently I am bored and have been since 2006. In spite of over 8 years working as a doctor overseas, I can't practise as a physician here until I get into a residency training position and this has proved impossible and frustrating. On top of this, I just relocated to GA where getting into a simple diploma course is hard because I am not a state resident yet. I am broke after using up all my savings paying for medical courses and living in NY/NJ for three years. Desperate for anything I applied (and later interviewed) for a receptionist post. They sent a polite email saying that its only $8 an hour and I have too much experience, so I didn't even get that... E.t.c. You get the picture? I need an outlet alright :)

I have good organization & I am methodical. Queen of logic, that's me- lol! If it doesn't make sense it shall nag me and I shall nag you until it does. I like order & control. Yes, yes, yes. Everything has its place & purpose. Now my husband is an artist... suffice it to say that we are at either ends of the spectrum on this. At the time of doodling, I was dwelling on the future & outside world. True. I was chasing up something in connection with immigration paperwork, which once approved will relieve the causes of my pent up energy mentioned above. Interesting stuff. Check out what your doodle means --> DOODLE MEANINGS.

Joel 1v13-15

Queen Esther had an important assignment to do that required God's wisdom and direction so she sought His face. She (and others on her behalf) fasted for 3 days & nights before she set off to address the problem. Jesus had a habit of fasting before certain big assignments. He did 40 days and nights before his temptation by satan. It is amazing how often we take decisions without committing it to the Lord. Big or small, dilemmas or successes... we should involve God in all areas of our lives & trust His promptings.

Joel's reading is about priests being called to consecrate a fast for a problem. Everyone in the land needed to be in the house of God crying unto Him. Likewise we should declare a fast from time to time. We can fast alone, call a fast in our home or join fasts called by our churches. Sometimes this will be when there's a tough task or decision ahead. Other times we may fast for spiritual cleansing. This benefits us physically too because our stomachs rest and our bodies get time to recuperate. One might do a weekly or monthly fast from 6 a.m. until noon (or until 3 p.m.). On the day of the fast pray intermittently with a thankful heart. Petition Him if you have a need and ask for divine cleansing of body, mind, soul & spirit.

Fasting is to sacrifice something. For instance, giving up food and drink in order to focus on your spirituality & being at one with the creator. Keeping the body empty brings it under the control of your spirit. This enables your spirit man to rise above carnal and worldly thoughts and draw closer to God's spirit. Being in tune with the Holy Spirit opens you up to the mind of God and allows you to pray and live out His will.

SONG: Goodbye World

Remember my blog post called Edge Runner?

I had written that the Edge Runner had a crooked back wheel. We had another older yet sturdy bike which was in worse shape and needed more serious repairs. Well, the other day my husband got a new bicycle for me to practice on. Although new to us, it was actually second-hand. It was slightly smaller, faster and named the Mongoose. At his insistence, I went on a trial ride... all the way down our road which lacks any pavements and back again. By pavements I mean what is known here in America as sidewalks. I succeeded somewhat in overcoming my fear of the traffic, holding my ground and not falling off as passing cars whizzed by. I looked forward to perfecting my confidence and turns with Mongoose in the coming weeks. Sadly though, my plans were shattered.

Today we left home at 0955h for an appointment. The three bicycles were lined up against the wall. Upon our return at 1420h my husband immediately noticed that the latest addition was missing. Mongoose was gone. Taken from where she'd stood behind the others only hours earlier. A sudden sadness overcame me. Why would someone steal our bike? It was unfair, for one thing. My husband works hard and saves his money to purchase a bicycle; then someone comes along and just takes it without sweat. Going online I realized that bike thefts are not uncommon. Still, I felt violated. Had the thief been watching us to know that we were out. This incident, minor as it may seem, challenges my sense of security and safety. Some consolation is that Edge Runner was spared, because of her wonky wheel - no doubt.

Back in New Jersey, a man had broken into my apartment at three o'clock one morning a year ago when I stayed in Irvington. Of course I moved out within twenty-four hours to a safer neighborhood in Newark. Over there you leave nothing outside. Here everyone leaves stuff lying around in open and often gate-less yards. Perhaps this caused me to let down my guard when I moved to this seemingly quiet street in this small town. Today's episode was a necessary reminder to be ever careful wherever I am... and prayerful too.


Unless the LORD guards the city, The watchman keeps awake in vain. [Psalm 127:1]

I wrote this on a whim after being inspired by a lovely photograph. It was taken by a fellow blogger... check him out on In Search Of A Greener Tomorrow.

The sun & the electric pole,
The light creeps upon the dark,
White gleam and yellow hue,
Oranges blend and fade.

Silent palms speak of life,
The tall wooden pole lifeless.
How rich are these colours,
So beautiful is God's creation.

This is the original unedited piece, and I propose to develop it further so stay tuned folks and have a blessed day.

Joel 1v10-12

Have you ever felt dry?

Physically your body feels weak and tired, your mouth is dry and you might even have a headache. Medically this is a state of dehydration where your body is starved of water. Spiritually you feel empty, lonely even, in spite of being surrounded by people. Unhappiness. Your spirit begins to wither and dry out... in the way Joel describes the vine and fig trees.

Joel concludes that surely joy has withered away from the sons of man. Has your joy withered away? Are you dry at this time in your life? Do not worry if you feel so. Look to Jesus and declare that it shall be well with you. If Ezekiel could prophesy to dead dry bones to live again then so can you. We are children of the same God therefore we can call things that are not as though they were, and so they shall be.

Think of all dry spots in your life (write them down). Meditate upon them... what caused those areas to dry up? How long they have been dry? Maybe they've been dry so long that they are already dead. Declare in Jesus' name that all dry aspects shall be revived. Ask Jesus to water every part of your life from his spring of living water. Ask him to water you daily as you trust God for the increase. From henceforth you will grow. Speak positive growth into everything that concerns you. You will see catch-up growth in all formerly dead or dying areas. The power of the resurrection will resurrect all dead and dying plans you ever had... dry or dead dreams... according to the perfect will of God.

Pray that all futile plans and dreams not be reawakened. May God only grow that which will become fruitful in your life.

Song: Breathe on me breath of God

Darkness
Deep melancholy
All the world a blur

Deluded
Dejected
Alone and unsure

Downcast
Desolate
Emotions a tempestuous sea

Deranged
Disagreeable
Frenzied silent plea

Depression
Denial
Anger takes its toll

Drowning
Desperate
A bottomless hole

Despair
Despondence
Fighting to hold on

Dazed
Disoriented
How the night is gone

Determination
Desire
Morning revives the soul

Divine
Devotion
Faith has made me whole


Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning! -Psalms 30:5

Eyes open
Unseeing
My mind searches

Open door
First rays of dawn
New hope on horizon

Walking fast
Faster, farther
Air rushes in

Running hard
Breathing harder
Blessed escape from all

Feet pounding pavement
Throbbing head
Heartbeat loud

Pause
Deep breath
Sweat drops and tears

Where do I go
Why here
Purpose for my birth

My mind is searching
Eyes wide
Future is unclear

I stopped suddenly. There was a tiny bird lying motionless on its back, wings tucked into its side. It lay as if it were sleeping but I knew it was dead. Another step, another bird and this one lay at an odd angle. It too was lifeless. The birds were barely a foot from the main road upon a patch of grass. I wondered at their demise unable to fathom what might have occurred. Sad. I didn't know what to do. I left them there and walked on. Days later the vivid memory remains with me. Perhaps I could have found a spot and buried them. I felt sombre. Might there have been a lesson in that? I look for life lessons everywhere now. Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? - Matthew 6v26. Man is like a breath; his days are like a passing shadow - Psalm 144v4.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven - Ecclesiastes 3v1-8.

I had written this a while back. Today I started toying with the structure of the phrases and rearranging the way the words were placed on the page. It interested me how different the piece looks now, compared to when it is properly written in full sentences.

I woke
too early
with eyes still heavy
and a morning chill
in the air.
It was times like this
when I wish
you were here-
my love,
my warrior
& protector.

I would crawl
into your arms
and curl
up
against
your gently heaving chest
until you wake,
feeling
warm
and safe
in your warrior's embrace.

Anticipating
the sweetness
of morning kisses
that you'd rain upon my face
strong
hands rubbing my shoulders
tension eases away.
Soothed
I would feel
your weight shift
as you turn to me

still sleepy-eyed and
breathing
slow,
heart beating
right next to mine:
you alright bright eyes?
you might ask
with a smile,
sparkle
in the depths
of your brown eyes.

Prayers For Bobby

Dear Readers,

I trust that everyone had a pleasant weekend. I was up until the wee hours of this morning watching a movie that touched my heart deeply. The title is Prayers For Bobby and it is a "must see." For those who don't know, this is a movie that shares the extreme experiences of a young boy, a teenager, who determines that he is gay. Coming from a staunch Christian home where the wrath of God and peril of hell fire hung over the heads of all, and witnessing disdainful remarks about homosexuals by his most beloved family, young Bobby was thrown into a state of mental anguish when he finally decided that he was gay. Life became unbearable. After contemplating suicide and confiding in his older brother, the parents become aware of the crisis and mother goes above and beyond the maternal (and human) call of duty to try to "cure" him. Bobby's internal struggle within an innocent and timid mind heightens until at the last we watch him fall backwards off a bridge in Portland, and supposedly unto the path of an oncoming eighteen-wheeler. I wept.

The aim of this post is to encourage you all to watch the movie. I only want to trigger readers (and myself) to further, and objectively, reevaluate their stance on this subject. No disrespect or offense is intended. Like many I have my beliefs about the extremely controversial subject of the acceptance of being gay. However, I shall exclude my personal convictions while writing this blog post. For Christians I encourage you to commit it unto the Lord in prayer (if you need to) and ask Him to grant you understanding. At the end of the day I feel we should be able to accept one another, differences and all, without compromising God's word. Jesus did.

Several old Hebrew words were translated as Abomination in the bible. Oftentimes those Hebrew words implied forbidden, not to be touched, and not to be eaten. Significantly too, the word Abomination in English means detestable, abhorred, shameful and vile. The Word of God says that being gay is unacceptable. Levicticus 18v22 states You must not have sexual intercourse with a male as one has sexual intercourse with a woman; it is a detestable act. The same book reiterates in 20v13 that If a man has sexual intercourse with a male as one has sexual intercourse with a woman, the two of them have committed an abomination. They must be put to death; their blood guilt is on themselves. As a Christian, life should be all about salvation and getting into heaven; living according to God's word. For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Mark 8v36. It seems clear then what the bible says about gay persons. However many people apparently skip or ignore or are simply not aware of certain pertinent verses. Let me add here that there are numerous diverse ways in which the bible is interpreted and this is understandably confusing.

Take Deuteronomy 1v18-21 for instance:

If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

Or 1Corinthians 6v9-10 which asks,
Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived! The sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, passive homosexual partners, practicing homosexuals,thieves, the greedy, drunkards, the verbally abusive, and swindlers will not inherit the kingdom of God.

What does this mean? That offenses worthy of death include children's disobedience, stubborness, drunken behaviour? That those who have extramarital affairs and con men should be treated in the same way as gay people and none shall get to heaven? How unsettling this might be for some. Accepting gay people is commonly and heatedly debated yet when last did you hear debates about saying no to sex outside marriage, prostitution, etc? Many of us appreciate the good work that AA (alcoholics anonymous) does. How many have ever thought this problem warranted stoning to death? I have simply presented these facts for your review and to draw attention to certain things that you may not have paid much mind to previously. May you discover for yourselves what it means to you, to others in your world and to the Christian walk. Nevertheless, please always treat others as you would want to be treated and remember Jesus' powerful words: He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone at her - John 8v7.

I believe that we all have a cross to bear. Whether it be homosexuality, depression or some other grave illness, dealing with rebellious children, abject poverty, fighting addiction, surviving rape, domestic abuse or anything else, we might find ourselves in a real dark place. A situation which no one else seems to understand. We are alone and afraid. We lose hope and let life slip away. Please let us know that there is always hope. Remember that most times we only see a tiny part of the big picture. Imagine a baby in a cot crying. He is hungry. He can not see outside his cot and he can not see his mother. However the mother is in the room preparing his bottle. The solution is right there- he just can not see it. Just hang on a while longer. No matter how long you have been in your situation, help might already be nigh. Don't give up. A winner never quits & a quitter never wins. It is easier said than done, you might say. Yes, it is but we got to try anyway.

Thanks for reading and be greatly blessed this week and always.
LJ