Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Door To Nowhere





I peered inside. It was eerie and dark. A foul smell overwhelmed my nostrils. Giving my eyes time to adjust, I entered slowly and stood right by the door. I could taste vomit. I could smell it too. Soon I could see better, and inched forward cautiously. The weight of the door caused it to slam forcefully behind me. Automatically I tried the handle and it turned. Whew! I was not locked in. There was a long corridor leading off both to the left and to the right. I dared not go further. Yet my feet were still moving and I fell forward over something. Someone screamed in pain ... a horrible hoarse sound. It made my skin crawl and the hairs on my arms seemed to stand on end. I suddenly felt cold. Then there was a string of cursing let out through clenched teeth. I sat up and rubbed my head, anxiety taking over my entire being. From nowhere a beam from a large torchlight startled me and it remained fixed directly on my face. Across from me was an old man, wrinkled and disheveled and dirty. He looked very very old. He sat upon crumpled bedding on a stone cold floor. Plastic bags and torn duffle bags surrounded him. Then he began to cough. A long and raspy bout that must have hurt his chest. It went on for a long time and the light darted about as his frail body shook. I covered my ears with my hands. Finally the coughing ceased. The old man swallowed a potion he had taken from his jacket pocket. Silence. Those little beady grey eyes did not blink. He gazed at me for hours, or so it seemed. He just simply stared.

9 comments:

darsden said...

oooh scary..I don't like buildings with no windows!

CathM said...

A strange encounter!

RCUBEs said...

Reminds me of the detention facility where I work. You just don't know what to expect as I go to work.

Anonymous said...

Excellent writing!

Wow, what a powerful excerpt!

Suzette Saxton said...

I love your writing, Lilly. This piece was evocative!

IJ said...

To Darsden,
Just like me, I dislike buildings with no windows. In fact I need big windows with lots of light (smile). Take care.

To Cath,
Completely fictional- lol. I'm not sure where the imagination came from. I was just writing and the words tumbled out. Have a good week.

To RCUBEs,
Oh wow, really. I imagine yours to be a tough job. God bless.

To Ananji,
Thank you for stopping by and leaving such encouragement. Be blessed.

To Suzette,
Thank you for reading. I always appreciate your comments and insight. Have a good week.

Peter Stone said...

Very atmospheric, with so many raw emotions revealed as the writer stumbles through unexpected obstacles. It was like one of those dreams you try to escape but cling to you when you wake.

Rogue said...

Wow,, I loved it Lily! Don't you just adore it when you simply write, and the words just spew out, beyond all control? Taking you down paths you would never normally wander down!

IJ said...

To Peter,
Thank you for reading. You have such a lovely way with words. Yes, "raw emotions" ... stumbling through obstacles ... Have a blessed week!

To Rogue,
Yes indeed, the words spew and your hand races to keep pace as you wander down imagination's paths. Well said and stay blessed.