Mad As A Hatter

I got mad this morning and I don't know why. I mean, I know what I was mad about but I don't know why I allowed myself to get mad. I wasn't crazy mad, like mental or insane... just angry mad, like furious and provoked. If I think about it though, when one is angry mad, one sometimes looks crazy mad. In my culture the expression mad woman is not unpopular and paints the image of an angry woman acting crazy. Well, this episode propelled me to do some self-analysis and understand the matter better. I asked myself to consider my feelings and then articulate them. I felt ruffled, edgy and like the other person was being bossy. Physiologically my heart rate must have increased, my voice got louder and squeaky, my words stumbled over each other as they rushed out of my mouth in a bid to keep pace with my racing thoughts. All the while my spirit remained somewhat aloof and questioned my rationale. My spirit knew I was being unreasonable and pleaded silently for me to let it go. My head argued that I had good reason to be upset and continued its rationalization process. Still, I did not feel good.

What is anger anyway? Is it wrong to get angry? Why do I feel guilty every time I get mad?

Anger -

1.	a strong feeling of displeasure; hostility; triggered by feeling wronged.

2.	pain (feeling sore) British.

3.	grief; trouble Obsolete.

4. strong passion/emotion stimulated by real or supposed insult/hurt to self or others.
5. resentment.

Madness -

1.

insanity.

2.	fury; anger;

3.	frenzy; rage.

4.	intense excitement or enthusiasm

At that moment I experienced a strong feeling of injustice and emotions arose from my feeling insulted. Of course the insult I perceived was not intended at all by the perpetrator. Immediately coming to mind were the words of Paul, the apostle. I felt validated as I recalled them from memory... even though I want to do right I always seem to do wrong. For I do not understand my own actions (I am baffled, bewildered). I do not practice or accomplish what I wish, but I do the very thing that I loathe (which my moral instinct condemns) - Romans 7v15. Read the passage from Romans 7v13 to 25. This is exactly how I felt earlier this morning.

But there is hope. I certainly have a hope. Firstly because my hope is in Christ Jesus who came for the sick. The well don't need a doctor but the unwell. Secondly, my hope, faith & trust are in Him in whom I live, move & have my being Acts 17v28a. Then I take courage in the wisdom and experiences of Paul. He who seems to me to be such a powerful man of God was formerly a murderer. He was in the dark being ignorant of his actions until the day he woke up. That day he met with Jesus and his life took a u-turn. All his zeal was now for Jesus rather than against him. In spite of it all, the apostle admits that he struggles still with doing the right thing. Like him, I (my spirit) know the right thing to do in most situations yet I (my flesh) do it not.

Jesus answered them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent.” Luke 5v31-32.

God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him. John 3v17.

One great thing about me is that I do have good insight, i.e. self awareness, so I do know my weaknesses. Another great aspect to me is that I strive every blessed day to be a better person. If at first you don't succeed, try and try again. In my case it is, if at first I don't succeed, try and try and try and try and try and try and try again.

Now I am calm. I can clearly see that I should have backed down. A friend made me to understand that a relationship is like a garden. It needs to be tended. As the weeds come up they must be removed lest they grow and choke the flowers and plants. Whether it be a relationship with neighbours, friends, spouses, or children, commitment is essential. On the other hand, the nature and type of relationship determines the extent to which one is committed. Romans 12v18 admonishes, if possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. With that conviction, I am off to make peace with the perpetrator... that was a Freudian slip, I meant with the person [this ain't gonna be easy]. But before I go, finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4v8.

For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he: Proverbs 23:7a.