Darkness
Deep melancholy
All the world a blur

Deluded
Dejected
Alone and unsure

Downcast
Desolate
Emotions a tempestuous sea

Deranged
Disagreeable
Frenzied silent plea

Depression
Denial
Anger takes its toll

Drowning
Desperate
A bottomless hole

Despair
Despondence
Fighting to hold on

Dazed
Disoriented
How the night is gone

Determination
Desire
Morning revives the soul

Divine
Devotion
Faith has made me whole


Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning! -Psalms 30:5

Eyes open
Unseeing
My mind searches

Open door
First rays of dawn
New hope on horizon

Walking fast
Faster, farther
Air rushes in

Running hard
Breathing harder
Blessed escape from all

Feet pounding pavement
Throbbing head
Heartbeat loud

Pause
Deep breath
Sweat drops and tears

Where do I go
Why here
Purpose for my birth

My mind is searching
Eyes wide
Future is unclear

I stopped suddenly. There was a tiny bird lying motionless on its back, wings tucked into its side. It lay as if it were sleeping but I knew it was dead. Another step, another bird and this one lay at an odd angle. It too was lifeless. The birds were barely a foot from the main road upon a patch of grass. I wondered at their demise unable to fathom what might have occurred. Sad. I didn't know what to do. I left them there and walked on. Days later the vivid memory remains with me. Perhaps I could have found a spot and buried them. I felt sombre. Might there have been a lesson in that? I look for life lessons everywhere now. Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? - Matthew 6v26. Man is like a breath; his days are like a passing shadow - Psalm 144v4.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace. To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven - Ecclesiastes 3v1-8.

I had written this a while back. Today I started toying with the structure of the phrases and rearranging the way the words were placed on the page. It interested me how different the piece looks now, compared to when it is properly written in full sentences.

I woke
too early
with eyes still heavy
and a morning chill
in the air.
It was times like this
when I wish
you were here-
my love,
my warrior
& protector.

I would crawl
into your arms
and curl
up
against
your gently heaving chest
until you wake,
feeling
warm
and safe
in your warrior's embrace.

Anticipating
the sweetness
of morning kisses
that you'd rain upon my face
strong
hands rubbing my shoulders
tension eases away.
Soothed
I would feel
your weight shift
as you turn to me

still sleepy-eyed and
breathing
slow,
heart beating
right next to mine:
you alright bright eyes?
you might ask
with a smile,
sparkle
in the depths
of your brown eyes.

Prayers For Bobby

Dear Readers,

I trust that everyone had a pleasant weekend. I was up until the wee hours of this morning watching a movie that touched my heart deeply. The title is Prayers For Bobby and it is a "must see." For those who don't know, this is a movie that shares the extreme experiences of a young boy, a teenager, who determines that he is gay. Coming from a staunch Christian home where the wrath of God and peril of hell fire hung over the heads of all, and witnessing disdainful remarks about homosexuals by his most beloved family, young Bobby was thrown into a state of mental anguish when he finally decided that he was gay. Life became unbearable. After contemplating suicide and confiding in his older brother, the parents become aware of the crisis and mother goes above and beyond the maternal (and human) call of duty to try to "cure" him. Bobby's internal struggle within an innocent and timid mind heightens until at the last we watch him fall backwards off a bridge in Portland, and supposedly unto the path of an oncoming eighteen-wheeler. I wept.

The aim of this post is to encourage you all to watch the movie. I only want to trigger readers (and myself) to further, and objectively, reevaluate their stance on this subject. No disrespect or offense is intended. Like many I have my beliefs about the extremely controversial subject of the acceptance of being gay. However, I shall exclude my personal convictions while writing this blog post. For Christians I encourage you to commit it unto the Lord in prayer (if you need to) and ask Him to grant you understanding. At the end of the day I feel we should be able to accept one another, differences and all, without compromising God's word. Jesus did.

Several old Hebrew words were translated as Abomination in the bible. Oftentimes those Hebrew words implied forbidden, not to be touched, and not to be eaten. Significantly too, the word Abomination in English means detestable, abhorred, shameful and vile. The Word of God says that being gay is unacceptable. Levicticus 18v22 states You must not have sexual intercourse with a male as one has sexual intercourse with a woman; it is a detestable act. The same book reiterates in 20v13 that If a man has sexual intercourse with a male as one has sexual intercourse with a woman, the two of them have committed an abomination. They must be put to death; their blood guilt is on themselves. As a Christian, life should be all about salvation and getting into heaven; living according to God's word. For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Mark 8v36. It seems clear then what the bible says about gay persons. However many people apparently skip or ignore or are simply not aware of certain pertinent verses. Let me add here that there are numerous diverse ways in which the bible is interpreted and this is understandably confusing.

Take Deuteronomy 1v18-21 for instance:

If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

Or 1Corinthians 6v9-10 which asks,
Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived! The sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, passive homosexual partners, practicing homosexuals,thieves, the greedy, drunkards, the verbally abusive, and swindlers will not inherit the kingdom of God.

What does this mean? That offenses worthy of death include children's disobedience, stubborness, drunken behaviour? That those who have extramarital affairs and con men should be treated in the same way as gay people and none shall get to heaven? How unsettling this might be for some. Accepting gay people is commonly and heatedly debated yet when last did you hear debates about saying no to sex outside marriage, prostitution, etc? Many of us appreciate the good work that AA (alcoholics anonymous) does. How many have ever thought this problem warranted stoning to death? I have simply presented these facts for your review and to draw attention to certain things that you may not have paid much mind to previously. May you discover for yourselves what it means to you, to others in your world and to the Christian walk. Nevertheless, please always treat others as you would want to be treated and remember Jesus' powerful words: He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone at her - John 8v7.

I believe that we all have a cross to bear. Whether it be homosexuality, depression or some other grave illness, dealing with rebellious children, abject poverty, fighting addiction, surviving rape, domestic abuse or anything else, we might find ourselves in a real dark place. A situation which no one else seems to understand. We are alone and afraid. We lose hope and let life slip away. Please let us know that there is always hope. Remember that most times we only see a tiny part of the big picture. Imagine a baby in a cot crying. He is hungry. He can not see outside his cot and he can not see his mother. However the mother is in the room preparing his bottle. The solution is right there- he just can not see it. Just hang on a while longer. No matter how long you have been in your situation, help might already be nigh. Don't give up. A winner never quits & a quitter never wins. It is easier said than done, you might say. Yes, it is but we got to try anyway.

Thanks for reading and be greatly blessed this week and always.
LJ